don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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