He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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