Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You made out with two different species that night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize