my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just had sex on a roof
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
