i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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