im having a threesome with these popsicles
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
