TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
