And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
