I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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