I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
