we're chasing vodka with high fives
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They should really pass out barf bags in church
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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