I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
