Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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