I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
