Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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