Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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