thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
