I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
