i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
