Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
