i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize