This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
