you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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