I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
