He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
