So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
