There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
