I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
