I need help removing her.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
