So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
