i came on her dog
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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