Screwed.edu
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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