I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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