What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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