all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
