So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she peed on how many people?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
