My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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