I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
