Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
