whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize