dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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