Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
