I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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