fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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