It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
