i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will pee on everything he values.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
