whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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