He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
