Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
