I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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