Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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