We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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