she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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