he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
