Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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