my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize