Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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