okay pat passed out under dana's car
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
