Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize