I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
