I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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