dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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