Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize