nut hugger
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
