I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
