i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
