Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
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